Heidi Klum Eats French Fries While Wearing Bikini On The Beach (PHOTOS)

You might be asking yourself, “Is this fool really writing a story about Heidi Klum eating French fries on the beach?” And the answer to your question is yes. I am writing a story about this, and you know why? Because I can, bitch!

The 40-year-old mother of four was spotted on vacation in the Bahamas recently, and she was rocking a strapless black bikini. She was also rocking a box of delicious French fries.

Oh, yeah…eat that French fry. Mmm, yeah, that’s real nice. Now stick one in your belly button and let me pull it out with my teeth.

Was that creepy enough? I feel like it was. Anyway, if you’re wondering why a former Victoria’s Secret model is stuffing her face with French fries, well, you should probably go punch yourself in the neck. No one should be forced to eat celery sticks 24/7, especially not on vacation.

In fact, Klum recently told Glamour magazine the following…

“I like to stick to fresh fruits and vegetables and lean proteins. It’s important to keep a balanced diet, but I’m not a fan of deprivation. If I want a cheeseburger, I am not only going to eat that cheeseburger, but I’m going to enjoy that cheeseburger.”

You tell ’em, gurl! Eat that cheeseburger. You look mighty fine for a 40-year-old mother.