Wait, What? Jimmy Kimmel Had To Have TWO Penis Surgeries?

On the list of things I never want to do in life, having surgery on my penis is just below being a professional fart sucker. Sharp objects floating right above your special friend? No thanks. I get nervous enough when I have to trim things up down there.

But Jimmy Kimmel is obviously more hardcore than I will ever be. The late-night talk show host recently admitted during a panel at SXSW that the hole in his private part once closed up.

E! News asked him for more details after the panel, and unfortunately the 47-year-old comedian agreed to talk more about the painful event.

It just kind of closed up on it’s own. I don’t know why it happened. I still don’t know why. The guy said, ‘Your urethra’s closing up and you need it operated on,’ and they did. And then they said, ‘Yeah, we didn’t get it, it didn’t quite work. We need to do it again.’ And they did it again. It’s a horrible process by the way—a horrible horrible process.

What in the world? I didn’t even know that hole could close! This is the most terrifying thing I have ever heard in my life. How will I sleep tonight knowing there is a chance I could wake up with a closed pee-pee hole? And yes, I still call it a pee-pee hole.

The worst part about it is that he doesn’t have an explanation for it. He still doesn’t know why it happened, which means he can’t give us advice on how to avoid it. You can wash your hands to avoid the flu, but how the f–k do you avoid this?