OFFICIAL: Katy Perry and Russell Brand are Divorcing. Situation was Hairy!

I guess now we can get excited.  24 hours ago when it was reported that they were not wearing their rings, I told everyone to relax.  Well….not so much.

Brand filed using our favorite reason in the world

“irreconcilable differences.”

How do we know it’s official?  Because TMZ said it, and then the Associated Press, and finally Brand himself said it,

“Sadly, Katy and I are ending our marriage. I’ll always adore her and I know we’ll remain friends.”

So what was all that crap on Ellen?  Till Death do us Part?  Perpetually married to her?  Planning on having kids?

All crap!! Movie star crap!

They have been married only since Oct. 23, 2010.  Which by today’s standards is 25 years.  How can we be mad at Kim Kardashian when everyone is basically doing the same f’kin’ thing.

My theory….Katy just couldn’t take all the hair. The chest hair, the head hair – all crazy, all greasy.  It was too much.  She had to bush whack her way to him just for a hug.  Enough was enough.  I’m sure if you read closer in the divorce papers it says that the situation was hairy.

Well after seeing Katy’s bikini Christmas Pictures…I know there are a few people excited about her being back on the market.

-Cosmo