Snooki Talks Losing Her Virginity

Oh, boy! Some days I question if what I write is even important, you know? Am I just adding to America’s sick obsession with celebrities? And the answer I always come up with is, “HELL YES!” It’s fun, it’s entertaining and it makes us forget about our miserable lives. So, when I have to write a story about Snooki losing her virginity, I don’t feel bad about myself. I feel great that I am presenting you all with such valuable information.

Okay, now let’s get to the story. Snooki recently sat down for an interview with YourTango and for some reason they asked her about the first time she had sex…

“I was 14. I mean, in upstate New York there’s really nothing to do up there but experiment. He was a senior, and I thought he liked me but turned out he was just a jerk. So, it was terrible.”

A senior going out with a freshman? Yeah, you can bet that he was only interested in one thing. I love how she says there is nothing to do but experiment. What about homework? Book reading? Listening to music? Learning to make a fire without matches? There is a lot of stuff you can do besides have sex!

Anyway, she was also asked about the Amanda Bynes situation…

“She’s just going wild, doing her thing, I guess. Everyone writes crazy things on their Twitter about her. She’s definitely interesting to follow, and I do follow her, of course. If she is in trouble and needs help, I hope she gets it, but if she’s not, then who am I to criticize her?”

Boo! I miss the old Snooki who would vomit on herself and say stupid sh-t. Now, she is all grown up and…normal. Gross.