Amanda Bynes: There’s A Surgery For That!

Do you suffer from excessive eye boogers? Do you sometimes cry in the shower? Have you ever felt like you were being chased only to look back and see nothing behind you? Do you find yourself shouting at random objects? Have you lost that loving feeling?

Well, never fear! Dr. Bynes is here! Our favorite crazy person was active on her Twitter account yesterday and she did not disappoint. First she talked about her recent nose job…

“I was born with a webbing in between my eyes. That was a birth defect that I had surgically removed! I’ve never been more Excited! Now I need a few more surgeries to shave the bridge down to correct the rest of my nose so I can start the next chapter of my career! Music!”

She talked about how she was embarrassed to share the fact that she had a birth defect. However, now that she has had it removed, she’s more comfortable talking about it, “I wanted to share my story with you to prove that I’m not crazy, I was just embarrassed. Surgery is a complete miracle for me.” she tweeted.

And then she tweeted the best tweet in the history of tweets…

“Nothing can hold you back from living out your dreams. There’s a surgery for everything that’s wrong with you!”

Oh, Amanda! So full of optimism, optimism and money. The funny thing is, she’s sort of right! There really is a surgery for almost anything now, even if it’s a problem that doesn’t need to be fixed.

For example, the webbing in between Amanda’s eyes. Did anyone else notice this bitch defect? Her face has always looked perfectly fine to me. Anyway, Amanda is forgetting that most normal can’t afford these crazy surgeries. Just going to the doctor for a check-up is expensive enough. I went to the doctor’s office last week for a sinus infection and had to sell one of my kidneys just to be able to afford the medicine for the sinus infection.

Anyway, the 27-year-old also talked her upcoming music career. Remember when we reported that she might sign with some small record company? Well, she claims that she actually got an offer from a bigger record company, and she says she will be taking that offer after she has her surgeries.

Is it sad that I am actually excited? Don’t judge me. I don’t have much in my life, just let me have this.