Best Dressed Met Gala 2014: According To A Man Who Knows Nothing About Fashion

The 2014 Met Gala took place last night in New York, and all the A-listers showed up looking their best. Apparently, stars save their best outfits for this event, so we thought this would be a perfect time to do a “best dressed” post.

Most websites have fashion experts for this, but we can’t afford all that, which means I will be the one doing the judging. I should warn you that just yesterday I ventured outside with flip flops and black socks on.

Anyway, let’s do this thing!

The Beautiful Emma Stone

Would you just look at that! Marvelous. She looks the next candy creation from The Willy Wonka Candy Company. A fruity piece of heaven that lingers on your tongue all day. Bravo, Emma. Bravo.



Stunning. Beyonce showed up looking like an emo fish who narrowly escaped being captured by a fisherman. She didn’t even have time to take the net off her head.

Karolina Kurkova

Karolina Kurkova went all out for the Gala. As you can see, Kurkova decided to use a little person tent as a dress. Some people at the event claim they heard Munchkins giggling underneath Kurkova. We can’t conform those reports.

Erykah Badu

Okay, that’s just ridiculous. Wearing socks with sandals can’t be any worse than wearing that thing on your head. Tie that thing to a tree in Alabama and you’d have 500 rednecks claiming they saw a flying saucer.

Blake Lively

This dress makes her boobs look nice. I like boobs. Do you like boobs?

Naomi Campbell

Naomi Campbell shocked everyone with her, “I am a human car wash” look.

Olivia Munn

This dress would be better if I didn’t have to wear a pair of sunglasses just to stare at her tits.