American Idol Season 14 Premiere Recap: Does Everyone In Nashville Own A Guitar?

We have been getting you ready for the season 14 premiere of American Idol for several weeks now. Showing you previews, giving you inside information, sharing special clips, etc. It seems like we have been building it up now for years, but we are proud to announce the wait is over!

The first hour of the three-hour, two-night premiere aired Wednesday. And, of course, I was at home by myself watching every single minute of it. What else would a 23-year-old man be doing on a weeknight? Hanging out with friends? Going to the gym? No thanks. I’ll be on my couch, eating leftover tuna casserole and watching Jennifer Lopez jump out of Keith Urban’s massive truck while wearing six-inch heels.

Yeah, that’s how Idol started off things this year. Quick shout-out to the camera person for giving us that close-up of her legs. Anyway, let’s jump straight into the madness.

The madness begins with the now 18-year-old Riley Bria. He showed up with his guitar, and that’s a word you will see a lot in this recap. Guitar, guitar, guitar. It seemed like almost every contestant was armed with a guitar. But unlike some of the Idol hopefuls, Riley can freaking shred. He actually played with Keith Urban on stage during an award show in 2012. After introducing himself to Jennifer Lopez and Harry Connick Jr., Bria performed Keith Urban’s Georgia Woods.

All three judges loved his performance; calling it effortless and smooth. He walked away with a golden ticket, and even though I felt like his voice could have been a little stronger, it’s easy to see why the judges loved him. He was only 17-years-old during that audition, but he wasn’t nervous at all. It was like he had been performing for 20 years. We told you that Idol was trying to recruit singers who knew how to perform on stage. They found their first one with Riley.

Next up? The adorable 19-year-old Priscilla Barker. She described herself as ‘spunky’ and it certainly showed during her audition. Two quick notes on Barker: she comes from a huge family, and her mother is completely in love with Keith Urban (she touched him once at a concert). And just like Riley, she also had a guitar during her performance. Priscilla tried to win the judges over with Tanya Tucker’s Delta Dawn. Her audition didn’t exactly blow the judges away, but I think I fell in love with her. Priscilla, if you are reading this, I was just kidding about eating leftover tuna casserole by myself.

My dog was with me.

Jennifer Lopez voted no; however, Keith and Harry said yes, which means we will be seeing more of Priscilla. And for those wondering, her mother did get to hug Keith after the audition. It was a very sensual moment. I was aroused.

After Priscilla, we saw a short clip of the now 26-year-old Cameron Bedell. The Wichita native carried his guitar with him and played You Are The Best Thing by Ray LaMontagne. He had me slow dancing in my seat. Soulful voice, and he showed some range by mixing in a nice little high note. Harry, Jennifer and Keith fell in love with him. Keith even said he wanted to play with him. Seriously. Those were his exact words. Bedell will have a play date with Urban in Hollywood.

The 4th contestant of the evening comes from “the hard part” of Memphis. Amber Kelechi Walker claims that without music, she would be pregnant, in jail or in a gang. She credits music with saving her life. At the time of her audition, Walker was just 15-years-old. She performed Heartbreak Hotel and Jennifer Lopez loved every second of it. Harry wasn’t as impressed with her performance, telling the other judges that Walker clearly needed to study more. The good news for Amber is that she will be doing her studying in Hollywood. Both Jennifer Lopez and Keith Urban voted yes.

And then we saw the strange Kyle Corman, who I believe is related to Carrot Top. I think Kyle said he was 24-years-old? A quick Google check has revealed that Mr. Top is 49-years-old, so it’s possible Corman could be Carrot Top’s son. He performed Give A Little Bit by the Goo Goo Dolls. The judges didn’t like it. Jennifer Lopez tried to give him some constructive criticism, but he interrupted her by playing Ed Sheeran’s Lego House. It was an extremely odd moment. We will not be seeing him in Hollywood. He should have brought his pops…err…props?

After showing a montage of terrible auditions, 26-year-old Kory Wheeler saved us all. He’s an early favorite after his heartbreaking performance of I Can’t Make You Love Me. Personally, I believe Bon Iver plays the best version of the song, but I was surprised by how much pain I heard in Wheeler’s voice. It was a wonderful audition, and he also had a cool little story to go along with it. He works at the coffee shop across the street from the Nashville audition site. His boss allegedly gave him an hour off to audition in front of the judges. I say allegedly because you can’t really believe anything you see on television anymore.

Yeah, Ryan Seacrest did walk over to the coffee shop with Wheeler to tell his boss he received a golden ticket; however, we don’t know what went on behind-the-scenes. What if that shop was actually a set? And what if Wheeler’s boss was a robot? You just can’t trust anyone these days.

The one-hour premiere ended with two great auditions. 20-year-old Michael Simeon and 15-year-old Emily Brooke. Michael probably had the most memorable audition of the night. The farmer from Mississippi had more confidence than Kanye West and Kim Kardashian combined, but somehow he managed to remain likable. He covered Sam Smith’s Stay With Me. His voice was super smoky. Like, if I was a responsible adult and actually had batteries in my smoke detectors, they would have been going off.

All the judges loved him, especially Jennifer Lopez. They actually shared a little slow dance together. Keith played the guitar for them while Harry backed him up on the piano. Lopez ended the audition by saying, “I’m a great girlfriend and wife. I just pick the wrong f–king guys.” Take off your sunglasses, folks. There is plenty of shade here.

The night ended with Emily Brooke. She blew the judges away with Carrie Underwood’s Blown Away. Hahaha, get it? Because the song, and the…okay I think you got it. This girl has a lot of potential. And it’s not just me who believes that, Harry told Jennifer and Keith that “she might have the most potential of anyone we’ve seen.” We will see her get the chance to prove him right in Hollywood.