Farrah Abraham Signs Sex Tape Deal

Hey, you. Yeah, I am talking to you! The person currently chowing down on some generic brand of cereal before getting ready to put in eight hours at crappy job you hate. How are you doing, today? I am guessing you probably aren’t doing so great, considering it is Monday and we all know Mondays suck. Anyway, before you go put on your ugly work uniform, let me tell you about how much money ‘Teen Mom’ Farrah Abraham is getting from her sex tape/porno.

Vivid CEO Steve Hirsch has been wanting to buy the video from the very start and he finally reached a deal with the reality star. A deal that is reportedly worth almost a million f–king dollars! They even have cover art for the video now, which shows Farrah in her bikini on the beach. The title reads, “Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom.” The video is reportedly 70-minutes long and will be released soon.

Isn’t that just f–king grand? This is the kind of sh-t that makes America great, am I right? Where else can a horrible teen mom have sex with some dude on camera and make almost a million dollars while doing it? Just think about that while you’re having to deal with your lovely job today. You probably get paid $9 to $10 an hour to work your butt off for some company who doesn’t even care about you.

If only you would have had a child when you were a teen and then made a fake sex tape! Just think about how much better your life would be right now. I bet you’re regretting that college education now, huh?