List Of Winners From An Extremely Disappointing Grammys

The 56th annual Grammy Awards were on for what seemed like ten hours yesterday. LL Cool J hosted the big award show last year and returned again this year to deliver another vanilla performance. It’s not that he’s a bad host, it’s just that he doesn’t bring any special energy to the place.

But his performance as host was actually one of the best performances of the night. If you look around online, you will see almost every site talking about how amazing the show was. How amazing every performance, speech and dress was. However, we don’t feed you bullsh-t on this site, it’s not good for your diet.

Let’s be honest, the 2014 Grammys were f–king horrible! All the speeches were terrible, every time Lorde came on stage, I wanted to bury myself alive. She has to be one of the most awkward people on the planet. And then you have Daft Punk on stage, accepting awards with their played out costumes.

And we haven’t even talked about the performances. The only three performances worth watching last night were Beyonce’s sexy opening with Jay Z. Imagine Dragons and Kendrick Lamar’s great performance, and that weird Metallica performance was satisfying in a strange way.

The most frightening performance of the night came from Katy Perry. The whole time, I thought it was a promotion for Devil’s Due.

Anyway, let’s get to the big winners…

Record of the year
“Royals” — Lorde
“Radioactive” — Imagine Dragons
“Get Lucky” — Daft Punk featuring Pharrell Williams and Nile Rodgers
“Locked out of Heaven” — Bruno Mars
“Blurred Lines” — Robin Thicke featuring T.I. and Pharrell

Song of the year
“Just Give Me a Reason” — P!nk featuring Nate Ruess
“Locked Out of Heaven” — Bruno Mars
“Roar” — Katy Perry
“Royals” — Lorde 
“Same Love” — Macklemore & Ryan Lewis

Album of the year
“The Blessed Unrest” — Sara Bareilles
“Red” — Taylor Swift
“Good Kid, M.A.A.D City” — Kendrick Lamar
“The Heist” — Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
“Random Access Memories” — Daft Punk

Best new artist
James Blake
Kendrick Lamar
Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
Kacey Musgraves
Ed Sheeran

Best pop solo performance
Sara Bareilles — “Brave”
Lorde — “Royals”
Bruno Mars — “When I Was Your Man”
Katy Perry — “Roar”
Justin Timberlake — “Mirrors”

Best pop vocal album
Lana Del Rey — “Paradise”
Lorde — “Pure Heroine”
Bruno Mars — “Unorthodox Jukebox”
Robin Thicke — “Blurred Lines”
Justin Timberlake — “The 20/20 Experience — The Complete Experience”

Best rock performance
Alabama Shakes — “Always Alright”
David Bowie — “The Stars (Are Out Tonight)”
Led Zeppelin — “Kashmir”
Imagine Dragons — “Radioactive”
Queens of the Stone Age — “My God is the Sun”
Jack White — “I’m Shakin’ ”

Best R&B song
“Best of Me” — Anthony Hamilton
“Love and War” — Tamar Braxton
“Only One” — PJ Morton featuring Stevie Wonder
“Pusher Love Girl” — Justin Timberlake
“Without Me” — Fantasia featuring Kelly Rowland and Missy Elliott

Best R&B album
Faith Evans — “R&B Divas”
Alicia Keys — “Girl on Fire”
John Legend — “Love in the Future”
Chrisette Michele — “Better”
TGT — “Three Kings”

Best rap album
Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
Jay Z — “Magna Carta … Holy Grail”
Kendrick Lamar — “Good Kid, M.A.A.D City”
Drake — “Nothing Was the Same”
Kanye West — “Yeezus”

Best country album
Jason Aldean — “Night Train”
Tim McGraw — “Two Lanes of Freedom”
Kacey Musgraves — “Same Trailer Different Park”
Blake Shelton — “Based on a True Story”
Taylor Swift — “Red”

Producer of the year, nonclassical
Rob Cavallo
Pharrell Williams
Ariel Rechtshaid
Jeff Tweedy
Dr. Luke

Best music video
Captial Cities — “Safe and Sound”
Jay Z — “Picasso Baby: A Performance Art Film”
Macklemore & Ryan Lewis featuring Ray Dalton — “Can’t Hold Us”
Justin Timberlake featuring Jay Z — “Suit & Tie”
Jack White — “I’m Shakin'”