7 Rappers Who Have Zero Street Cred
Let me just start off by saying the person writing this has zero street cred. In fact, I am not even completely sure what ‘street cred’ is. However, I am 98% sure that I do not have it.
Urban Dictionary says this about street cred…
“Commanding a level of respect in an urban environment due to experience in or knowledge of issues affecting those environments.”
If that’s the case, I might have actually had some street cred at one point in my life. But now that I am an adult, still eating Fruity Pebbles for breakfast, I feel like I lost it all. The reason I am telling you all this is because I don’t want anyone to take this list seriously.
The rappers below might actually have some street cred. Well, all of them except the miserable Easter bunny you see below…
No. 7 – Nick Cannon
Some people will look at this photo and think, “Aw, what a great father!” And that’s reasonable, but when I look at this photo? I just see a man who is not in control of his life. He’s damaged, defeated and depleted.
He’s been destroyed by Eminem, and most recently he was destroyed by his ex-wife Mariah Carey in her new song Infinity. She called him out for being “corny like Fritos.”
Ouch. At least he has some vending machine cred? No? Okay, that was also corny like Fritos. I’m sorry.
No. 6 – Rick Ross
Apparently, Rick Ross was rolling in this magical street cred at one point. He had so much street cred that he was giving it away as a treat during Halloween. Two Snickers (fun size) and a plastic pumpkin container full of street cred.
But then he lost it all when he admitted in 2008 that he had worked as a correctional officer, and that’s apparently against the rules or something. After disappointing his fans, Ross tried to explain things during an interview with MTV…
“And that being a job and just understanding the grind and the hustle and anything else I may have done. It’s just a job; it’s a hustle.”
No. 5 – Iggy Azalea
Iggy Azalea is from Australia, which means she’s had to deal with spiders, snakes, dingoes, sharks, ticks, crocodiles, emus, and Keith Urban’s haircut. But what the f–k does she know about the street? Nothing!
And is she even really a rapper? Or is she just trolling everyone? I mean, what the heck is she even saying in this video? Are those words? Is she human? Can we trust her?
No. 4 – French Montana
Just like Rick Ross, I think French Montana had street cred, but then it started falling out of his pockets when he was spotted hanging out with Khloe Kardashian. In fact, when people talk about him now, they don’t even mention his music career.
It’s just like, “Oh, French Montana? That’s the dude who was dating that Kardashian chick, right?” Correct. That’s him, lapping up the juices Lamar Odom left behind.
No. 3 – Nicki Minaj
I hate talking bad about Nicki Minaj. She seems like a lovely person, and I am not just saying that because I walk around with the constant urge to fall asleep on her breasts.
But being a nice person and having an incredible body doesn’t help you in the street cred department. At least I don’t think it does, especially not when she is agreeing to perform at some rich kid’s bar mitzvah. What the hell, Nicki? What is next? Weddings? Bingo nights at church? County fairs?
No. 2 – Drake
It’s hard to acquire street cred when you started your career as a child star on the teen drama Degrassi: The Next Generation. Even on the show he came from some wealthy family, always showing off his expensive gifts and sh-t. And then he was injured in that school shooting, which forced him to roll around in a wheelchair for the rest of the show.
And then he got an erection during a massage?
Geez. It’s hard to recover from over 100 episodes of Degrassi. Poor guy.
No. 1 – Macklemore
Yeah, Macklemore has street cred…SESAME STREET CRED! HAHAHAHAHA.
