AWKWARD! National Enquirer Arranges Confrontation Between Oprah and Man Claiming to Be Her Long Lost Son. You Will Never Guess What Oprah Had to Say!?!

If the National Enquirer is involved then you know something is a little fishy.  Let’s be clear, we are not saying this man is Oprah’s son, but we are saying that there was a confrontation between the two and possibly this grown-ass man is trying to fake the funk and get a pay day.  I had to say “Possibly” for legal reasons but you already know…

WHO IS CALVIN MITCHELL?

Calvin is a 31 year old truck driver who claims that Oprah adopted him when he was a child and then later abandoned him leaving him depressed and suicidal.

Mitchell met Oprah when he was just 11 on the set of ABCs movie of the week, There are No Children Here.  There is proof that the two did meet as there is a photograph of the two together which graces the cover of the National Enquirer.  Mitchell said that he won Oprah over by offering her a Diet Coke and she jokingly offered him a job as her personal bodyguard.  She then asked his mother if she could adopt him.  Mitchell’s 56 year old mom recalls the events,

It felt strange because I felt if someone wanted to help me with my children, that’s one thing, But to actually adopt one child knowing I have others? I couldn’t allow her to separate my children.

At this point I wasn’t sure if this was just Oprah jokingly saying, “can I adopt him?”.  You know how girls always say stuff like that, “Oh I just want to heat him up”.  It’s not to be taken literally….or is it? I assumed Oprah was just joking but then there were some gifts; pretty substantial gifts.

NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED

Mitchell says that Oprah sent him gifts with notes that said, “To my son Calvin, I love You”. There hasn’t been any proof of these notes.  None were saved or photographed.

Oprah also allegedly paid for this dude to go to school.  He says that she paid for him to go to The Piney Woods School in Mississippi.  The Piney Woods Country Life school is a historically African American boarding school. ( I didn’t even know such a thing existed).  It’s significantly cheaper than other high end boarding schools but still expensive as hell.  One year will cost you $22,500.  Calvin Mitchell says he dropped out of the school and this is what caused his relationship with Oprah’s to crumble.

I was young. I made a dumb decision, and Oprah wouldn’t forgive me. I feel like what she did was wrong.

She told me, “Calvin, just try to work it out. You can do it. Just hang in there.” She was trying to inspire me to do what was right. But even after the long pep talk she gave me, I still left.

I just wanted to come home, and Oprah didn’t understand that.

By leaving school, I’d failed my whole family. I’d let everybody down.

But I thought Oprah and Stedman would still be a part of my life. At one point, it was like I’d lost my whole world.

All of this is easy enough to verify but that still doesn’t mean that Oprah adopted him and so far there is no statement from Piney Woods supporting Mitchell’s attendance.

SO WHAT HAPPENED WHEN MITCHELL CONFRONTED OPRAH?

Things didn’t really go as he planned.

Oprah was Oprah.  She is confronted with crazies all the time, but this was a little different.  She appeared to know exactly who Calvin was.  Apparently The Enquirer had been trying to talk with Oprah days before but her people brushed them off, so they arranged for Calvin to be outside the studio while Oprah was taping her appearance on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.  Oprah was pissed whens he saw him and Mitchell knew this.  When he saw Oprah he began to apologize.

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, but it was the only way to get in touch with you

He then asked her if they could talk and he got the BDB – the billion dollar brush off.  Oprah said,

Honey I’m on my way to the United Nations right now so I can’t talk to you.

She then reportedly added;

Calvin, you just take care of yourself.

Take care of YOUR-SELF.  
Let me translate that: Calvin you are a grown ass man and if you don’t get out of my face, I will have so many lawyers up you’re a$$ that you will have to pay a retainer just to take a dump.

I would be surprised if she does not sue The Enquirer for this stunt.  This is sad and pathetic.  At best Oprah was helping a kid get a great education that he pissed away.  At worse, the entire thing is made up.  If she did shell out over $80K for Calvin then this is a perfect example of No Good Deed Going unpunished.  That is one of those stupid-ass phrases that never makes any sense until it does.  (Like  – you can’t have your cake and eat it too.  Why have cake, if I can’t eat it?  What that phrase really means is that you can’t eat your cake and then still have cake.  Once you eat it, it’s gone.  It took me awhile to get that one).

BACK TO CALVIN…..

Calvin, forget that you ever did this.  Distance yourself from the National Enquirer and try and get some more over the road loads with your truck driving job and live your life. You now have some new photos with Oprah so you can brag about  this experience down at the beauty shop when  you get your hair braided.  Now kick rocks!

Look at this pathetic ass-munch.  SMH