Kimmel and Obama

Jimmy Kimmel and President Obama’s Top 5 Jokes From the White House Correspondents Dinner [video]

This might be one of Obama’s best speeches.  He should always be this funny, I wouldn’t mind him interrupting New Girl if his speech was going to be this entertaining.  The question is, who was funnier, Kimmel or Obama.  It’ was hard to pull out the top 5 from each but I tried my best.  Luckily through the magic of Youtube, you can see both acts below.  A perfect way to spend a productive Monday morning at work!!

KIMMEL’S TOP 5!

5.  “If you told me when I was a kid I would be standing on a dais with President Barack Obama, I would have said, ‘The president’s name is Barack Obama?’

4.  “Remember when the country rallied around you in hope for a better tomorrow? That was a good one.”

3.  Regarding Obama’s Weightloss  – “This is how you know the country’s in bad shape. The president is starving. North Korea is sending him food aid.”

2. “There’s a term for guys like the President. Probably not two terms.”

1.  “”The president wanted to move it to the Kennedy Center, and the Republicans wanted to keep it at the Hilton. So, they compromised and here we are at the Hilton.”

OBAMA’S TOP 5

5.  “Four years ago, I was locked in a brutal primary battle with Hillary Clinton. Four years later she won’t stop drunk-texting me from Cartegana.”

4.  “We both have degrees from Harvard. I have one, he has two. What a snob.”

3.  “Last year at this time, this very weekend, we finally delivered justice to one of the world’s most notorious individuals, (Photo of Donald Trump)”

2.  “What is the difference between a hockey mom and a pitbull? A pitbull is delicious.”

1.  “Here we are in this vast magnificent Hilton ballroom, what Mitt Romney would call a fixer upper.”

Barack Bonuses!

“In my first term, we repealed the policy known as ‘don’t ask, don’t tell;’ … in my second term, we will replace it with a policy known as, it’s raining men.”

“I had a lot more material prepared, but I have to get the Secret Service home in time for their new curfew.”

[more…]

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