Penelope Cruz Is The Sexiest Woman Alive, According To Esquire Magazine! (PHOTOS)

Trying to pick out the ‘sexiest woman alive‘ must be like trying to pick out the best looking cinnamon roll at the donut store. Every freaking cinnamon roll looks amazing! Sure, there are some that have more icing than others, but that wouldn’t stop you from putting your dick inside the inferior ones.

Wait, what? This is getting weird now. The point I am trying to make is that there are a lot of sexy women out there. The female body is beautiful. I am pointing this out right now because I know there will be some dude typing, “Wut? Penelope Cruz? She alright and all, but the sexiest? Wut bouts Kim Kardashian? Jennifer Lawrence? That one chick from Gone Girl. I don’t even know her name, but you already know she’s a freak in bed.”

Relax, relax. It’s just a fun thing they do every year. Don’t take this honor too seriously, okay? Just enjoy the sexy photos of Penelope Cruz down below and go on with your life.

The 40-year-old actress is now the 10th woman to earn the title. Angelina Jolie won it back in 2004, and Scarlett Johansson took home the prize in both 2007 and 2013. The magazine talked with Penelope Cruz about being named the sexiest woman alive. She says it’s an honor and she’s proud of the title.

As always, Cruz didn’t talk much about her personal life. “That is for us.” She told the magazine. But she did talk about how she’s left the drama of her 20s in the past.

“I’ve played a lot of tricks on myself. I’ve made it hard for me sometimes, especially in my teens and 20s. I had an attraction to drama. Most of us have that, especially if you are an artist—you feel like you are tempted to explore the darkness. I could not be less interested now. For me, the most attractive, charming, cool, fun, interesting thing—how could I call it? A plan.”

Plans are always nice. For example, I plan to do something very naughty while staring at these photos later. That’s my plan for the day.